24 days

                 It has been 24 days since my last cigarette. I feel like I am losing my mind. The physical craving subsided weeks ago so I rarely get a craving now but the emotional toll has been much much harder. I call it the emotional roller coaster of death, doom and despair. Apparently this little phase can last up to months. I have talked to others and they all say it can take up to about 3-4 months to get back off this crazy train. Of course no one tells you about this fun little ride when they are lobbying for you to quit this oh so wonderful habit. If I knew my sanity was going to take even more of a hit I would still be smoking. Hello mother of two children my sanity has already taken quite a bit of a hit. So each day I don't smoke I am inching further from sanity and closer to the jacket that hugs you so tight and you can't forget the calming white room with padded walls. Each day sticks with an emotion. For example: Today is I'm pissed off and am seconds away from going on a murderous spree. Yesterday was On the Brink of tears. Tomorrow I am planning on ignoring all things related to responsibility. I would say about once or twice a week I feel like a normal person. I picked up some St. John's Wart cause apparently it is suppose to help stabilize a healthy mood. We shall see. Next stop is seeing a Dr to possibly be prescribe wellbutrin ( a mild anti-depressant). I am really hoping it doesn't have to come to that.